2 Samuel Chapter 13

2 SAMUEL CHAPTER 13

Amnon and Tamar (13:1-39)

Amnon Rapes Tamar

• • • Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. In time, David’s son Amnon fell in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself sick, because she was a virgin and it seemed impossible for Amnon to do anything to her.

• • • • Tamar was Amnon’s half sister. Guzik explains, “This brother and sister [Absalom and Tamar] were the children of David through his wife Maacah, who was the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur (2 Samuel 3:3)…Amnon was David’s first-born son, born from his wife Ahinoam the Jezreelitess (2 Samuel 3:2). Being the first born, Amnon was the crown prince – first in line for the throne of Israel.”

• • • • Bob Deffinbaugh makes some helpful observations about this scenario in his article for Bible.org, “Tragedy in the Royal Family,”:

• • • • • “Amnon has a very serious problem. He has “fallen in love” with his beautiful half-sister, Tamar. According to the Law of Moses, there is no way he could have this woman as his wife.”

• • • • • 17 ‘If there is a man who takes his sister, his father’s daughter or his mother’s daughter, so that he sees her nakedness and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgrace; and they shall be cut off in the sight of the sons of their people. He has uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he bears his guilt (Leviticus 20:17).

• • • • • Deffinbaugh adds this footnote regarding the phrase “fallen in love,” “This is probably a good place to make an observation. Four times in our text the word ‘love’ is used. It is clear that the ‘love’ of Amnon is little more than lust, and yet these four times the translators of the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Old Testament, used the Greek word agapao. Let those who would suggest or state that ‘agape love’ is a divine love, the highest form of love, take note that this is not consistent with the use of the word, either in the Septuagint or in the New Testament. Let us beware of over-simplification.”

• • • • “As I read the text, the Law of Moses which forbade marriage and sex with a sister is not Amnon’s main concern. It is, indeed, Tamar’s concern, but not Amnon’s. The author continues to speak of these two as brother and sister, but when Amnon’s frustration is mentioned, it is for another reason…”

• • • • “Amnon makes himself ill because she is a virgin, and because of this, he ‘was not able to do anything to her.’ We are not told that Amnon loves Tamar and wants to marry her. I believe we are told that Amnon wants to have sex with Tamar, but she is a virgin, and that staying so until marriage is her commitment. Amnon wants to have a sexual relationship with Tamar. He is willing, but she is not. She is a virgin and seems intent on keeping it this way. No wonder he could not get anywhere with her. And no wonder he is frustrated. His frustration has gotten to the point that it is making him ill (lovesick?). The symptoms of this ‘illness’ are not stated, but I would imagine possible symptoms would be an upset stomach, a lack of appetite, and lack of sleep.”

• • • Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah, and he was a very crafty man. He asked Amnon, “Won’t you tell me, why do you- the king’s son- look so dejected every morning?” Amnon replied, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” Jonadab said, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me something to eat, and prepare it in front of me so that I can watch, and eat from her hand.’”

• • • • Guzik writes, “…Jonadab was a cousin to Amnon, being the son of David’s brother (2 Samuel 13:32).”

• • • • ESV Study Bible adds, “The term crafty (Hb khakam) is normally translated as ‘wise’ or ‘skillful.’ Here, however, it is used in a negative sense.”

• • • • Deffinbaugh notes the following:

• • • • “I cannot tell for certain what Jonadab has in mind as the outcome of his scheme. I am not quite willing to say that his plan is one that will enable his friend to rape Tamar. Was it a plan that would enable Amnon the opportunity to be alone with her, and then to seduce her, or perhaps to persuade her to marry him? I am not sure. But it most certainly is a devious scheme he proposes.”

• • • • “At least from what we are told in our text, he does not tell Amnon what to do from there. He only tells Amnon how to get close to Tamar. We are not told that he tells him to send out all the servants (though he may have), or to grab her in an effort to persuade her to have sex with him. If Jonadab is as shrewd as our text tells us that he was, surely he must have considered some of the possible scenarios of what would happen after Amnon was able to get Tamar alone. Either Jonadab knew what Amnon intended and helped him achieve it, he suspected what he intended but did not ask, or he did not consider the options. He is too shrewd for the last of these options. Jonadab must surely share in Amnon’s guilt.”

• • • So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick, and when the king came to see him, Amnon said, “Let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes as I watch so I can eat from her hand.”

• • • • Guzik writes, “Amnon’s behavior was clearly childish, and David indulged it. Amnon acted like a baby. It is childish to refuse food unless it is served the way we want it…From this and other passages, it appears that David was generally indulgent towards his children.”

• • • David sent word home, to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon’s house and prepare some food for him.” So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house. He was lying down. She took the dough, kneaded it, and made some cakes as he watched, then baked them. But when she took the pan and set it before him, he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Get everyone out of here!” And everyone left.

• • • • • ESV Study Bible notes, “The word for cakes (Hb lebibah) is used only here in Scripture. It is related to the word ‘heart’ (Hb lebab), so it may have been thought of as a food for the sick. The word translated baked (v. 8) usually means ‘boiled’ (see 1 Sam 2:13), so it may be a type of dumpling. It apparently never occurred to David to be suspicious, and Tamar, of course, would obey her father.”

• • • • Deffinbaugh observes, “Amnon carries out Jonadab’s plan, and it works just as he predicted. Amnon’s illicit desires are facilitated by Jonadab’s plan. And that plan makes David an unwitting and unwilling participant in this evil scheme as well…David has gotten Tamar this far, and now everyone present is under Amnon’s authority. Who would dare challenge or refuse him? And so everyone leaves, leaving Amnon and Tamar alone…Our minds are spinning as we read the words. Is it possible that those who left the room had no sense of what was to follow? Were they afraid to protest or resist? And how can it be that Tamar does not sense what is about to happen? Could she not flee? The danger signs are there, but she is at Amnon’s house because the king commanded it.”

• • • Then Amnon told Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom so that I can eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she brought them close to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”

• • • • Deffinbaugh points out, “Once alone, all subtlety disappears. Amnon grabs hold of Tamar, urging her to lie with him. He does not ask her to marry him — just to sleep with him.”

• • • She said to him, “No, my brother! Don’t humiliate me! Such a thing is not done in Israel- don’t do this vile thing! What about me? How could I ever be rid of my humiliation? And you would be considered one of the fools in Israel! Now, speak to the king, because he won’t keep me from you.” But he refused to listen to her, and because he was stronger than she, he raped her.

• • • • Deffinbaugh explains:

        • “Tamar is truly the innocent victim here. She does not encourage Amnon; in fact, she frustrates him by her resolve to remain a virgin until marriage…When Amnon coarsely propositions Tamar, she answers just as the Law of Moses instructed. When she answered, ‘No, my brother,’ (emphasis mine), she states the reason Amnon’s request is wrong. She speaks of the sexual intimacy he requests as a violation of her, and so it will be. He will do to her that which can never be undone. Her reproach can never be removed, for he has taken her virginity. She does not just plead for herself; she pleads with Amnon to act in his own interest. Raping her will make him as one of the fools in Israel. He, the king’s first-born son, will become as one of the lowest men in the nation.”

• • • • “I suspect that because she sees that Amnon will not be kept from having her, she makes one final plea. Let Amnon go to his father, David, and request to marry her. Surely he will not deny him. There is a certain precedent for what she says. After all, Sarah is to Abraham what Tamar will be to Amnon. Sarah and Abraham have the same father but different mothers (see Genesis 20:12). I do not think she wants to marry Amnon, but marriage is better than rape and dishonor. Perhaps she hopes Amnon will ask his father and be rebuked and warned never to think about such a thing again or to come near Tamar.”

• • • Afterward, Amnon despised Tamar with such an intense hatred, that his hatred toward her surpassed the love he had previously felt toward her. He said to her, “Get up and get out!” She replied, “No, my brother! This evil- sending me away- is an even greater evil than the other that you did to me!” But he refused to listen to her. Instead, he called to the young man who was his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and lock the door after her!” So, his servant put her out and locked the door behind her. Now, she was wearing a long robe with sleeves because this is what the king’s virgin daughters used to wear. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away crying.

• • • • NLT Illustrated Study Bible says, “That Amnon’s feelings for Tamar so quickly turned to hate show that his so-called ‘love’ for her (13:4) was really only selfish lust.”

• • • • ESV Archaeology Study Bible explains Tamar’s reaction, “The law in Ex 22:16 and Deut 22:28-29 requires a man who rapes an unbetrothed virgin to marry her. Amnon’s refusal to marry Tamar meant she would be socially disgraced and likely remain unmarried and, hence, childless. If she had not been a member of the royal family, she would also have been destitute and poor.”

      • ESV Study Bible elaborates even further on the law, “If a man seduced an unmarried (or unbetrothed) woman, he had to marry her, unless her father refused; if he raped her, he was not permitted to divorce her (Ex 22:16; Deut 22:28-29). Having ruined her life, he had a responsibility toward her.”

• • • • NIV Cutural Backgrounds Study Bible notes, “Putting dust or ashes on the head was a gesture of mourning and distress throughout the ancient Near East…Tamar’s…robe marked her as a virgin daughter of the king (v. 18). Her tearing of the robe not only demonstrated her anguish, it also dramatically underscored her changed status.”

• • • Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has your brother Amnon been with you? Now, my sister, be quiet- he is your brother. Don’t take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house.

• • • • Deffinbaugh writes, “He lets Tamar know that he knows what Amnon has done to her, and then he does something quite surprising — nothing, or so it seems. He seems to tell her that this is something to be kept secret, within the family. She is to keep silent about it and not to take it to heart. Does Absalom really think she can do such a thing? Perhaps it is to facilitate her keeping silent and help her deal with this trauma that Absalom takes her into his own home. In our text at least, Absalom does not tell his sister what he has in mind. From what Jonadab will tell David two years later, it was Absalom’s intention to kill Amnon the day he learned his brother had violated Tamar (verse 32). Never was this beautiful young woman to experience marriage or the bearing of children. One can hardly calculate all that Amnon stole from his sister that evil day.”

• • • When King David heard about all these things he was furious, but he would not punish his son Amnon because he loved him since he was his firstborn. But Absalom said nothing to Amnon, either good or bad, because Absalom hated Amnon since he had raped his sister Tamar.

• • • • I have included the extra material at the end of verse 21, which is not present in the Masoretic text. However, as most translations notate in their footnotes, this text is included in both the Septuagint (LXX) and in the Dead Sea Scrolls (DSS).

• • • ESV Study Bible writes, “David was very angry, but he did not do anything. He showed favoritism toward his eldest son (see ESV footnote [ESV footnote: “Dead Sea Scroll, Septuagint add But he would not punish his son Amnon, because he loved him, since he was his firstborn]; cf 3:2), which was the source of many later problems in David’s family (cf 1 Kings 1:6). Heads of households have to deal justly with members of their household, but because of his sin with Bathsheba, David lost his moral courage and clarity of judgment.”

• • • • Deffinbaugh adds, “Absalom seems to be the essence of self-control. He conceals his hatred and anger and acts as if nothing has happened. But in his heart he has already purposed to make Amnon pay for ruining his sister’s life. He has the motive. All he needs is the means and the opportunity. That will come in two years time. Until then, Absalom does not so much as speak to Amnon. He treats him as though he doesn’t exist; soon he will not exist.”

Absalom Kills Amnon

• • • Two years later Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor, near Ephraim, and he invited all the king’s sons to come there. Absalom went to the king and said, “Your servant has sheepshearers. Let the king and his servants join me.”

• • • • ESV Archaeology Study Bible says, “Baal-hazor is identified with Jebel Asur, about 14 miles north of Jerusalem.”

• • • • ESV Study Bible explains, “As seen in 1 Samuel 25, sheep shearing was a time of feasting. Absalom invited all the king’s sons, and the next four verses explain how he gives the invitation. Absalom invited David, probably guessing that he would decline, in order to lend an aura of importance to the occasion and to mask his true intentions. If he had started out by inviting Amnon, it could have seemed suspicious.”

• • • The king replied to Absalom, “No, my son. We shouldn’t all go or we would be a burden to you.” Though Absalom urged him, the king wasn’t willing to go, but David gave him his blessing.

• • • Then Absalom said, “If not, let my brother Amnon come with us.” The king replied, “Why should he go with you?” But Absalom urged him, so he sent Amnon and all the king’s sons with him.

• • • • HCSB footnotes point out that the Septuagint has additional text at the end of v. 27, “LXX adds And Absalom prepared a feast like a royal feast.”

• • • • Deffinbaugh adds, “Is Absalom implying that Amnon can represent David as his first-born? We do not know because we are not told. David wonders, though. Why would Absalom ask specifically for Amnon to come? David presses Absalom on this point, but he seems to avoid the question and continue to press his father to send him. Is it David’s idea to send all his sons along with Absalom? Perhaps. This will certainly seem to put some of David’s suspicions to rest.”

• • • Then Absalom commanded his young men, “Watch, when Amnon has become merry from the wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid- is it not I myself who have given you this command? Be strong and courageous!” So Absalom’s young men did to Amnon exactly as Absalom had commanded. Then all the rest of the king’s sons got up and each fled on his own mule.

• • • While they were still on their way, the following report came to David, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons; not one of them is left alive.” The king stood up, tore his clothes, then lay down on the ground. All his servants who were standing by tore their clothes also.

• • • But Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah, spoke up and said, “My lord must not think that they killed all the king’s sons; only Amnon is dead.” Absalom has been planning this ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. So my lord king, don’t take the report that says that all the king’s sons are dead seriously. Only Amnon is dead.”

• • • • Deffinbaugh calls our attention to the following:

• • • • “Note something interesting about Jonadab’s words: there is only one way he could have known what he just told David. Jonadab had not accompanied David’s sons to the feast at Absalom’s ranch. He had not been there to see what happened. The early reports had to come (directly or indirectly) from those who had been there, at Baal-hazor. How can Jonadab assure David that these reports are not true when he was not there to see what happened? There is only one answer so far as I can tell. Jonadab had known for some time what Absalom’s intentions concerning Amnon were. Jonadab knew that Absalom was planning to kill Amnon, and he neither said nor did anything to prevent it.”

• • • • “He may have been a very shrewd fellow, but he seems to be an opportunist with no scruples. He must have had an idea what Amnon had in mind with regard to Tamar, but he did nothing to stop him. Instead, he told him how he could achieve his evil purpose. And now, having been an accessory before the fact in the rape of Tamar, he adds to his sin by knowing about Absalom’s plan to kill Amnon and yet doing nothing about it…And beyond this, he now uses this knowledge to try to further his own standing with David. It seems that he has a very shrewd reason for telling David that only Amnon has died, before David’s sons return to Jerusalem. Their arrival proves that Jonadab knows what he is talking about. When they arrive, Jonadab says to David, ‘See, didn’t I tell you this ahead of time? Things took place just as I told you they would’ (verse 35). I think Jonadab is trying to make points with David.”

Absalom Flees to Geshur

• • • Meanwhile, Absalom ran away. When the young man who was keeping watch looked up, he saw many people coming from the west on a road beside the hill. Jonadab said to the king, “Look! The king’s sons have come! It’s just like I said!” Just as he finished speaking, the king’s sons arrived, raising their voices and weeping. The king and his servants wept bitterly also. And David mourned for his son every day.

• • • • • NIV Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible notes, “Talmai was, according to 3:3, Absalom’s maternal grandfather. The Geshur in view here lay in Transjordan, in the southern part of the Golan Heights. Absalom’s flight took him more than 50 miles farther north and across the Jordan River, where he remained in exile for three years.”

• • • After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there for three years. The king’s spirit longed to go out to Absalom, because he had since been consoled over Amnon’s death.

• • • • ESV Study Bible notes that v. 39 is difficult to translate, explaining, “The Hebrew for the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom is difficult. It could also mean ‘the spirit of the king ceased to go out against Absalom’…The Hebrew lacks the word ‘spirit,’ but the verb ‘longed’ or ‘ceased’ is feminine and thus implies that the spirit or soul is properly inferred as the subject. (Some manuscripts of the Septuagint, together with a text from Qumran, explicitly have ‘the spirit of the king,’ though this may also be an inference.) The author is thus telling readers either that David yearned to see his son or that he no longer wanted to take vengeance on him; in either case, readers are set up for Absalom’s return in the next chapter.”

 

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